Prom night? Not-so-good.

(Prom night. A night which Singleroom@western has been looking forward to for a long time. She's got her hair did. She's got a hottie. She's lookin' supa fly in her "oh-my-mom-made-it" dress.)

7pm. Doorbell rings.

FamilyFriend: Um, I'm really sorry about this, but I found her in the bathroom at prom. I don't think she should be there anymore.

_____: Whats wrong with her?

FamilyFriend: Well, she's been slurring her words ever since she got there and she can't remember who she came with...

_____: She's drunk?! Its 7:00!

FamilyFriend: Yeah, I know. They hadn't even served dinner yet when I found her.

Singleroom@western: I'mFiinnnnneeeee. Jussttlike, faaackk it. I'm Finnneeee.

_____:..................holy.

Singleroom@western: Wheres mom? Mommmm I'm sorrrrryyy....but like, seriously, you're like, my wonnnderwaalll. my wonderwaaalllll.

Ridiculously good-looking

_____: Ugh there are so many cute boys out tonight.

Singleroom@western: (texting on blackberry) Yah, totes.

_____: I think its probably a pre-requisite that men be good looking if they live in Montreal...

Singleroom@western: (still texting on blackberry) Yah.....thats like, every person I know at western. So hot.

_____: Are you even listening to anything I say?

Singleroom@western: (BBM'ing on blackberry)....Yah, totes.

Talkin 'bout ma tatty

Singleroom@western: K so I really wanna get a tattoo

_____: Well what do you want to get?

Singleroom@western: Like something like super cute and stuff...maybs a bob marley lyric or something.

_____: ....yeah? Really?

Singleroom@western: OOH! Ohmygod yah ok so theres this one lyric that says like "I'm a rainbow too" and I would totally get it like...right here.

_____: Hmm..that kinda reminds me of that quote from that movie...ugh whats it called? The guy in it says something just like that--

Singleroom@western: OH yah I know what you're talking about. Its like "I'm a nympho too" or something...

_____: Actually, no. I was thinking more along the lines of "if I'm a bird, you're a bird." From the notebook. I think. BUt nympho...wow, I can't believe you went there.

Singleroom@western: hahahaha I know RIGHT?!

_____: ....... .

Cham-pizzle fo the B-dizzle

(birthday. singleroom@western receives a copious amount of champagne as a present

singleroom@western: OH MY GOD. ohmygodohmygodohmygod. This is like so awesome I'm totally going to like pop these bottles at my party and be all like "hhaaayyyyy!"

______: Yeah, you could. Or, you could just drink/share them like a normal human being.

Singleroom@western: !!! Holy shit this is going to be such a good bottle of champagne.

_____: How can you tell?

Singleroom@western: Uumm, because it says 1872 on the bottle. Thats like tots old and shit.

_____: Thats the year the champagne company was established, not how old the actual champagne is.

Singleroom@western: K yah whatevs.....its still gonna be like really delicious.

names for parents

singleroom@western: ok so i have to be quiet cuz mom and dad think im sleeping, k?

_______: k whatever. anyways, whats up?

singleroom@western: not much i just wanted to chat..fuck hold on i think dad's at the door.

**dad...relax! ohmygod its like not even 11 yet. its _____ she realllly needs to talk to me. ya she did call me. dad like she needs me right now ok? ........ok goodnight...kyahwhateverloveyoutoo.**

singleroom@western: k i'm back

_______: awesome. everything ok?

singleroom@western: ya dad's just being all like pms-y and shit. so gay.

______: did you just refer to our father as being pre-menstrual?

singleroom@western: ya so

______: k nothing. what do you call mom?

singleroom@western: umm like betch and stuff. and a babe.

______: well yeah obviously. wait, you call mom a "betch" to her face?

singleroom@western: fuckin yah girl! she loves it.